The meme-focused Shitposts, not Dragon's
by randomidiot1816
Summary: a shitpost every few days keeps the people asking for stories away
1. Chapter 1

The great pelo war written from mcs perspective greentext style

Remember, one shitpost a day keeps the where is the story comments away

Be me

be 17 year old

be in club where 4 girls and 3 have gone apeshit for me

they be full-on yanderes who want to kidnap me and r- me

fastfoward

4th girl go yandere

escape classroom where we were hiding

be surrounded

accept sacrifice

remember

pelo battalion

the pelo batallion consists of child touching preventors

since I am 17 I am applicable

remember CIA will come in guns blazing if I say the girls know where dat oil is at

combine

call out both

Suddenly, huge amount of airplanes with thousands of pelo paratroopers drop in top of the school while blaring the red alert 3 theme and the CIA is breaking everything and deploying tanks

girls are fucked

They are frozen

now's my chance

use Thot Destroyer-3000™ to destroy the girls

4

And that is the story of the memer black hole


	2. Chapter 2

The youtube ddlc comments written from my perspective

Me: lalalalalalala….. Wait what the fak

*there is a HUGE battle going on in which everyone is firing machine guns at the charging chibis,there is a guy fighting yuri and monika, some slavs are squatting while killing MORE chibis and doki copies, a guy named birdie and the channel leader woutmees are launching pelo artillery while soviet troops and american paratroopers are attacking with pelo anti child-toucher infantry and Buffsuki and Sayori are using cupcake machine-guns. Meanwhile, the real dokis and MC are crying and joining the battle respectiveley, while Bomber Crew is launching a tatical nuke.*

Me: Just an average day in the comments…

*Multiple Monika's and Yuri's appeared!*

*what will Random do?*

ATTACK

Memescape

*RANDOM USED MEMESCAPE!*

*Critical hit!*

*all enemies fainted!*

Me: just an average day… Might aswell check out other places.

*checking comment awards and PM Seymour*

*Everyone but MC is in the comments*

Me: khe berga… Might asswell check Ao3

*sees fanfiction where MC is tortured for the hundredth time*

Ours: welp, time to go in a fuccin' crusade. *Explains the "full puppet" theory for the last tme*

*fails*

Me: *Sighs* Just an average day in the internet… Wait…. *checks ps4 where friend left 9999999999999999999 notes to download and play cancernite*

Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 **Time for reviews**

 **Plantarmy08 said:** All hail this holy meme master,make sure to hit that mf follow and fav. one follow means one THOT destroyed.

 **I couldn't agree more.**


	3. Chapter 3

It was a normal day in the club, with Ao3's and Fanfic's Yuris cassualy torturing MC, Fanfic and Ao3 Natsuki discussing the best way to beat up dadsuki, The two monikas fighting over who loves player more, And the two sayoris playing Smash ultimate. Then, the ao3 girls went over to torture mc, and with the magic spicey powah of shit I am not describing™ made the other dokis come over. And while the plot moved forward crashing into inconsistency and evading the snail that was chapter 5.2's development to finish line over at alpha centauri, the pairs of Self-insertasshole and Alex were fighting in a sparring match to decide the best doki. Meanwhilde the survival trio was practicing in the shooing range and cooking some gud food. Then…

* **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA***

 ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA***

 ***CYKA BLYAT DOKI TORTURE ATACK***

 ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA***

 ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA***

The blyatisignal started ringing.

So Author, sick of this shit, decided to take stuff into his own hands.

He called his comarade over, Birdie, and the two set off to school, fighting in so many battles on the way that I could make it a story of itself. And when they arrived, with a snap of the index and the thumb, they summoned everyone.

Bomber Crew, Goku, The Kamen Riders, Artyom, Heavy, Snake, Mad Max, you name it, they summoned them.

And thus, with a soviet assault and a 2nd market garden, they beat the horde of YandeChibis guarding the doors for no reasons. So birdie summoned the FBI, the US army, and the tard horde while Author summoned the pelo battalion, the sfm memes and the dank attack plane. And thus, they (definiteley NOT) gentley opened the door… Well, a tank did, but still…

And they found The dead pair of black hole's mutilated bodies. So with the help of other MC's they made atom-sized pieces of the girls and then somehow destroyed SAID atoms and their makings.

The end

 **starting…**

 **initialized.**

 **Time for reviews.**

 **Plantarmy08:** **you know the ddlc war is bad when woutmees and the soviet union is involved. so yall mind if i hack?**

 **Sure, unlesh your 1337 hxer skillz at will. If you want some crazy fighting, just search for "mc eats breakfast with his mother", search for my comment (tip: I use my name in youtube), skip to the bottom (some asshole made an NSFW area in the middle) and fight in the crazy memescape.**

 **Guest: This article bootiful**

 **Thankz maite yeu are a veri gud peersone.**

 **Diamondia the bisexual fangirl: Pure inspire. Such wisdom to be held. Pass this down generations, it will be payed off and appreciated.**

 **Sure will, sister of the memehood, sure will.**


	4. Chapter 4

Super Literature Ultimate

SAYORI!

MAKES A HAT POWERED BY SADNESS!

YURI!

MAKES A FALLOUT ARMOR SUIT OUT OF A CORPSE!

(Alternate)

USES THE KNAIFUS TO END YOUR LIFU!

NATSUKI!

BUFFSUKIES THE FUCK OUTTA YOU!

MONIKA!

LAUNCHES A DELET CRUSADE!

MC!

DESTROYS EVERYONE BY BLACK HOLE SPHAGETTIFICATION!

 **And yea, only 46 words, but it's something.**

 **And hey, chapter 5.2 is on the 60% done mark! Also, I'm probably gonna have a Survival chapter uploaded by Sunday.**

 **As for the voting at Ao3, still no progress. If no votes come by sunday, the quiz is closed.**

 **No reviews this time, so see ya.**


	5. Chapter 5

It was a strange timeline for MC, as it was one of the few times he was fully aware of his predicament and had free will. However, even stranger was that Conrado and Alex were chatting behind is mind. He had come across an instance where he and conrado swapped places in this predicamment; Their friend/god/comarade/protector Author named it "The Triple Minded", "three minds", "Tripolar Timeline" and the such. Until now, they had no Idea, but the author actually said that in an early phase of the universe, alongside with the self insert aus there was a scenario where they were three people in the same body, but it was scrapped and put into cryostasis for a later time. With this acceptance, MC also found out after some time "looping" that after going through Thot-ika's and lusty versions of the girl's flirting, they would go into a braindead state from the embarassment, shock, etc., so they tried to avoid the girls. Unfortunateley, this time Sayori was also being more authoritative and forced the tripole of them into the club. And boy did they end up doing something rash.

Upon entering, the boys found out that the girls were wearing _tight casual clothes._ Not only that, _**BUT THEY LOCKED THE DOOR.**_

As alex took control, the three said "well that escalated quickly." But then the girls did something really innapropiate, and Conrado, who had seen this, was so traumatized and about to cry that he decided the best course of action was to jump out the window. And off did he go. Then, with MC placing meme songs and running in the 90's songs , off they ran into the wind. And that is the story of how to avoid sociopathic-ish lovesick semi-yandere dokis.

 **Continued in the second part…**

 **activated.**

 **Plantarmy08: DDLC but one touture Mc fanfic means one dream Sayori pass me the rope and hope to the meme gods that something is being done to stop meme war**

 **What**

 **AdamZeeper: Uuh I'm currently r/outoftheloop right now wtf is happening**

 **Just making a memefied ddlc, nothing to see here.**

 **Also, I finally finished 6 TESTS IN A WEEK. Halle-fucking-lujah. Now, I can't promise anything because of my lazy attitude, but after the haloween party I** **have been forced to attend at gunpoint by my friends** **and my friends are going to, I will try to finish up chapter 5.2 for once.**

 **Remember: ravioli ravioli, don't lewd the doki doki,**

RandomIdiot out.


	6. Welcome to hell rivers

Ugh, finally, I got outta my grave of work. So… apparently in the 91828729491247 years I was dead, MC invented a reppelent so no-one goes pscycho on us. And now that I put it on, I am calmly heading to the club foe one, but when I kick the door open like I'm the cia, I see this:

There is a bleeding yuri with heroin on the floor, a Monika strapped to a chair with a sign "I am a lovesick thot" around her neck, an MC-looking guy and a tight-clothed Sayori smoking weed, an older me drunk with survival MC and me, Alex and a casual-outfitted natsuki selling some cupcakes, and survival alex passed out on the floor with vodka.

The mc-lookalike looks at me and says "ah, random said that you would come. My name's rivers, and I am the vice memer of the club.


End file.
